【SHARED】Chloe: “There’s so little time left.”
19-year-old part-time waitress who’s studying in England next year
“If we don’t win... I don’t think we can win. But I just feel like we should do something, even though there’s a slim chance. At least we’re trying. Maybe sometimes, trying isn’t good enough.”
I don’t go to protests as much as I did in June, because it starts to get exhausting and it’s starting to feel like — you know how some people, they’re getting a bit radical with all the vandalism and just throwing bricks and setting fire? I don’t blame them, but I don’t agree with the message they’re using. Like with July 1, with the [storming of the] Legislative Council. It’s a violent way of getting in somewhere, but I wouldn’t say it’s necessarily violent because it didn’t really hurt anyone.
The main focus should be the government, but a lot of the noise has shifted onto the police fighting with the citizens. Maybe it’s the government trying to make this whole thing a civilian matter. You know how on July 21 there were these men in white T-shirts who were attacking citizens? I feel like the government might be trying to pit citizens against each other so they can come out and be the good guy and just clear up everything, clear up the whole mess.
It’s just getting out of hand. I don’t really know where this is going because I feel like what we’re doing essentially is trying to just buy more time for Hong Kong so it doesn’t get completely controlled by the Chinese government. So they won’t gain control as quickly.
But I don’t really know what the future holds.
I’ve heard my parents and my cousins and some opposing opinions out there saying, “Oh, you have to be realistic. You know China’s not going to bow down to Hongkongers. China’s not going to listen to you.” Of course we know that. It’s like fighting a giant, and we know the chances are slim. It’s not like we’re dumb. It’s not like we don’t know this is difficult.
It feels impossible to make the Hong Kong government stand down because even though they have suspended the bill, I don’t think they’re going to withdraw it. I think the government thinks they’ve already made a compromise. So with all these further protests, I think the government thinks we’re being crybabies.
The goal is starting to get blurry. I don’t think a lot of Hongkongers have a vision of what the future should look like. We know what we don’t want it to be like — we know we don’t want to become like China. But we also don’t really know what’s possible, what’s the realistic solution to save Hong Kong.
I don’t know what we should do because I feel all these protests, they’re not really working. The government’s not really listening to us. They just think we’re rioters, they think we’re making trouble. Those who just want a normal life — they don’t understand because they think we’re just messing Hong Kong up; they think we’re being too demanding.
It makes me worried because every time I think about what Hong Kong will feel like after this 50-year lease, I get scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I hope China will still give us autonomy, but it’s not very likely. I don’t know how we can get Hong Kong to stay the way it is.
If we don’t win ... I don’t think we can win. But I just feel like we should do something, even though there’s a slim chance. At least we’re trying. Maybe sometimes, trying isn’t good enough.
I’m just a normal citizen, I don’t really have that much power. We thought with the G20 conference [in June,] we could get help from the United States or the United Kingdom, but obviously they’re not going to help us. [President Donald] Trump has said he was hoping China and Hong Kong could work it out. That’s an obvious “no” to Hong Kong.
It just feels like we’re abandoned. We’ve always been.
I used to think that I could build a family here, and maybe my kids could have a future here. I can grow old in Hong Kong. But I don’t think I can still do that because it wouldn’t be the Hong Kong I used to know. It wouldn’t be the Hong Kong I love. I don’t think I can stay here.
A lot of people I know, they’re thinking the same way. Whenever I tell people I’m studying in England soon, they’ll be like, “Oh, good for you, you should leave as soon as you can.” Everyone says that.
Most of my friends, and even my parents, they don’t like the protests at all. They think we’re just making trouble. They think Hong Kong is fine as it is. They don’t really mind China taking over.
One of my grandmothers grew up in mainland China, and the other one, she grew up in Hong Kong. The one who grew up in Hong Kong thinks all these protesters are just mobs and gangs because she’s always thought Hong Kong was a good place and we’re ruining it.
But my grandmother from the mainland, she knows how awful the [ruling Chinese] Communist Party was because she lived through the Cultural Revolution. So she supports me going to the protests, but she doesn’t agree with the violence.
It was really touching when she told me she supports me, because almost all of my family doesn’t support me going to the protests. She’s the only one who does. But she still worries because of how violent this has become, like all those people getting hurt by the police.
It’s just sad to see. The police used to be okay, but now it’s just a clear divide because most citizens hate the police, and the police hate citizens too. There’s a mutual hatred. I’m sure that some of the police, they’re just doing their jobs. Some of them just want order; they just want to protect the city.
But some of them definitely have bad intentions. There’s this hatred being built up within the police force and they just think, “Oh, you all hate us, then fine, we can use our power to suppress it,” or something.
I hope it doesn’t end with the People’s Liberation Army [China’s military]. I don’t think it will happen. Hong Kong is still pretty international. But if China wants us to be ruined, I think there’s no stopping them.
The protests really made me love Hong Kong even more. It can never go back to the way it was, so I’m really going to miss how it used to be. I see how China is slowly taking control and the culture is slowly seeping in.
It’s scary. I never really realized how scary the situation is. I never really thought about the expiration date. I thought, “I’m going to be so old by then.” But I’m not going to be that old! I’m going to be, like, 40 or 50. Now it just hits me. There’s so little time left.
Graphics: Yellow Shy Guy
Special thanks: Vox
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